Tech consultant for Olympia, Lacey, And Tumwater

Money

One thing that has always frustrated me about being a start up is some of the arrogance of it all. A start up can spend a hundred thousand in a year hunting down a hundred thousand dollars of investment money. How you ask? Well let’s say it cost’s about $5,000 for each attempt at getting start up capital. That would be the costs of air travel, cab fare, food, hotel, etc. Let’s break that down for those that are already trying to shoot holes in that theory. To travel to any major city is going to cost about $1,500 for air and hotel if you plan far enough in advance. You can blow through $100 in cab fare easy. Food? Well, unless you really luck out and get a hot dog cart right outside your hotel you are going to spend about $100 a day in food at least. You should figure about three days since you will want to get to the location with enough time to be prepared for something going wrong. So arrive the day before, go to the start up funding event the next day, go out for drinks that night so you can get more face time with those important people, then leave the next morning. If the event lasts a few days this price goes way up. So we are about $2,000 if we use a few cost cutting sites like Orbitz and the like.

Now if you are going to Tech Crunch Disrupt, but are not an actual presenter you need to pay up another $2,000 to be part of “Start Up Alley“. Most events like this will end up charging you in some way. So don’t for a second think that this is the exception. This is pretty standard. Now we are up to $4,000. Add in suit rental, drinks, costs of presentation, some swag to give away at your booth so people remember your company, etc and you can rack up that last $1,000 pretty easy. So there is your $5,000. For those that are more experienced at finding cheaper ways to travel, remember that you will probably need to pay for two people so you come across as a team.

Now I’m sure some can punch holes in this here and there. Sure, split some hairs if it makes you feel better. The truth is that if your start up is truly a new concept or idea people will take a long time to be convinced they should fund it. So you will have to go to tech and start up events a couple times a month. After about a year of this you should be able to get some “Angel” funding. Awesome! Congrats! You just spent $100,000 to get your first $100,000. Silly isn’t it?

Now why do we play this game? Easy. Sites like Tech Crunch and Mashable won’t give you press until you get that funding. Unless you are a major “Venture Capitalist” funded start up, you only get press for getting that funding. The other thing to keep in mind is that if you are doing that many tech and start up events in a year you are getting tons of face time with people you want to have friendships with. So sure it helps your start up to blow through a hundred grand to get a hundred grand, but it seems a bit silly at the same time. Are those relationships worth that expense? Maybe. Will you get as much out of a hundred grand without those relationships? Maybe. But the honest truth is that your start up has to somehow magically come up with that first hundred grand to get that second hundred grand. This is where entrepreneurs like myself want to spend a day every once in awhile just sticking our head in a vice grip and yelling at a close friend to crank it just a little tighter. Not that I’m biter or anything.

If you want to take pitty on me, submit some stories to FanUpRising.com

Why most Start Up Advice Is Total Bullshit

Money

Most of you should know by now that I run a little start up called HeavyAsHell.com. I have been known to throw what is more than the equivalent of half a years paychecks into the site and burn through it in a month trying to get people to jump into it. Why? Partially because I am insane. Ask anyone that knows me in the real world and they will verify this. The other reason is that I really believe in the site and think that if this thing had enough resources it would explode and make some serious money back. Because of this I try everything I can to learn as much as I can about doing a start up and getting investors. Hell, even getting access to these people is pretty hard. This is why @Jason can do so well with Twist, TechCrunch50, and The Open Angel Forum. He has connections to make things happen for people like me who have zero contacts. However, there is a few problems I have with the advice people like him give to us wannabes.

Now let me be clear that @Jason is not at all the focus of this rant. In fact I would say he helps more than most. In fact, I have heard him mention things like this way less than most. I have a feeling I know the reason why. Most of the people are full of crap and he isn’t. What is this bullshit I am referring too? My biggest gripe is when I hear people say that your first round of funding should be from family and friends. Ok, sure. I could probably convince family and friends to give me $20 here and there. Hell, I might be able to drum up a few hundred if I really work at it and beg with the most pathetic puppy dog eyes. So what’s the problem? These advice givers say the amounts should be anything from $100,000 to a cool million! If I could borrow that kind of money from family and friends I wouldn’t need investors!

When I hear people give the advice to borrow $1000,000 from family and friends my first thought is what planet they are from. The answer of course is the planet of spoiled rich kids. If you can borrow that kind of money from family and friends then you were born with a golden spoon in your mouth. It reminds me of that horrid show Sweet 16 where they get these kids that just have no clue how the real world works. Hell, there is an Incubator I would love to get in with called Tech Stars, but I can’t come up with the $6,000 in time for the June 1st deadline. So I am currently looking at preparing for a year long shut down of everything I do online so I can work myself to death to save up that money. This is all so that I can get an investor to invest in HAH so I can show what this thing can really do. Borrow a hundred grand from family and friends? You people are on crack!

So if you are an investor and want to invest a hundred grand into my start up, I can promise you that I will make you a profit. I am the Rocky Balboa of entrepreneurs and I have that “south Paw” hook that will knock everyone in my way down for the count. If you are one of the people giving this bad advice to start ups, I would like to request five minutes in a boxing ring with you so I can try and knock some sense into your naive little brain. We obviously don’t live on the same planet, but I am willing to drop kick you hard enough to get you to see how this side of the galaxy lives. I will also shove that golden spoon so far up your ass that you will shit 14 karat turds for a year. Douchebag!

Yes, I have something brewing for March of 2010. It’s a campaign launch for a start up that has been in public beta for awhile now. Well, we are ready to take this thing seriously now and will be launching a national contest & viral marketing campaign. I can’t give too many details here, but I am looking for someone to make a documentary of my attempt. This is the biggest thing I have ever been involved in and if works it will be a great testament of human spirit. If you have seen Anvil:The story of Anvil you will know what I am talking about. Of course if it is a total flop it can be a lesson in what not to do. Either way you win. If I win I will win big. If I fail I will fail big. I am putting everything I got into this to lengths I will not go into detail about at here.

Whoever makes this movie, it is their movie alone. The creator owns it lock stock and barrel. It is also your movie budget. I am putting everything into the campaign. I don’t have anything to put into your movie. This is why you get all the profits. You are taking all the risk. it’s only fair.

As far as control goes, I want this thing to be honest. So I will do everything in my power to give the creator as much control as possible. The only major rule are to leave anyone out of it that asks not to be part of it. This just means I am open season. make it honest. In other words you can’t be some bible thumper trying to spin this into some preachy thing. If you have motives other than making an honest film I will boot you out the door without a thought. Pretty simple eh? A good documentary will sometimes make it’s subject look bad. We are human and we make mistakes. The film should show that. It should also show the triumphs. Hope that’s clear.

You should either be from Olympia WA or at least be willing to travel and stay here for at least that month to film. A ton will happen in that month. Feel free to try and film before that, but it won’t be as predictable when I’m working on things. I will not provide room or boarding. That is up to you.

Further details can be worked out in private. In fact, even the details above can be tweaked on private discussion. Contact me if you are interested.