Top five reasons why this decades Battlestar Galatica sucked

Also could be titled Top 5 reasons Caprica will suck too. Or maybe top five things I hope they fix with Caprica? An extended version of the pilot will have its world premiere exclusively on DVD on April 21, 2009 so I thought I would piss in some people’s Cheerios in celebration. I hope you fanboys enjoy!

5. Human Cylons totally changed the entire concept and story of the show. They might as well have just used a different title. The robots they did have looked cool as hell! They should have made those a bigger part of the show.

4. Over use of the word “Frak”. Yes, I know this was used in the original. It just wasn’t so over used. They beat that dead horse until it was a ozzing pile of mush. I’m also pretty sick of everyone saying “So say we all” every chance they can. Get over it. The show wasn’t THAT great.

3. Can you say pretentious? The show took it’s self way too seriously. The original was a drama too, but there was some humor. Firefly was a space drama too, but it also made me laugh more than most comedies. Even Shakespeare knew to make the audience laugh in between pummeling them with dark brooding drama. Even the new show Kings knows to keep that balance.

2. Plot holes! The plot had more holes than the local put put golf course. It made the whole thing impossible to follow. Was Kara a ghost, a figment of some peoples imagination, or yet another cylon? I could write a daily blog for months just picking apart every plot hole this show had. I just don’t care enough.

1. Canon VS Re-Imagining! Ok, let me get this straight. Even though the original “Hand Of God” episode clearly was set after the Apollo 11 moon landing in July of 1969, this newest version of the series tries to say that they kicked off humanity for this planet thousands of years before modern day? Was this latest version of BSG supposed to be a prequel then? I understand Re-Imagining, but this might as well have been titled as an entirely different show.

Now let me be clear about a few things. I did watch every single episode of this abortion they called Battlestar Galactica. At first it was because I was such a fan of the original and every week I hoped against hope that things would pick up. I wanted so badly for it to be good. By the time I was going to give up and remove it from my DVR schedule, they announced it was the last season. So don’t even try to say I didn’t give it a chance. I saw every episode!

Some may try to defend their beloved show by saying that this was a modernization and that is why style was made such an important element. I just wish they didn’t put style over substance. I think Firefly was a perfect example of how to do a modern style space drama without being so damn pretentious. Maybe if they would have chilled out a little and didn’t take themselves so seriously it would have been able to last the standard 100 episodes. Yes, I know my precious Firefly was canceled after only one season. On a future blog post I will blast Joss Wedon for sticking with Fox when Sci-Fi channel would have been a way better home for his stuff. Firefly would have lasted for decades on Sci-Fi. This I am sure of.