Now I also hated the recent reboot of Battlestar Galactica for the same reasons, so I am sure there will be many who rave about how great District 9 is. It was original I will give it that. I have heard that the biggest complaint about Transformer 2 is that there are too many jokes and it is too lighthearted. So just like those reviews makes me want to go see Transformer 2, this review will probably make some excited about what to me was a complete downer. For those people I give the following positive tidbits on District 9. The previews do nothing to prepare you. Hell, there are many scenes in the trailer below that are not even in the movie! The movie is done like a documentary. Imagine the BBC doing a documentary on a million aliens being evicted from a slum in Johannesburg and you get the basic idea. It is very well done and Peter Jackson has proved that he still has a few more tricks up his sleeve. It is a very unique and original way to approach scifi. The bug like aliens are very well done and you do forget at times that it is CGI. They do have a robot of sorts that is obviously strongly influenced by the first Transformers movie. The storyline is a story about the underdog fighting the powerful. There are great underlining messages about racism that are done well. I just think the whole thing is depressing and doesn’t offer any escape from the depressing world we currently live in already.

So I wouldn’t say this movie is total garbage. It just all depends on what you are looking for when you go to the movies. If you are the type that want something that is full of really heavy drama and leaves you feeling like you need to watch classic Tex Avery cartoons for a few hours to avoid slighting your wrists, this is your movie! I highly recommend watching it on the big screen. If you are looking for a fun escape of pure fun, a few laughs, and a lighthearted story, stay at home and watch your Firefly, Star Wars, Hellboy, and Eureka DVDs instead. Hell, even the show Heroes. is a better escape but I could list scifi entertainment I prefer for hours and hours. This just wasn’t my thing. If it is your kind of scifi, can we create a new term to separate the two approaches? I could have done without Peter Jackson hitting me over the head with an over sized hammer for two hours. Can you drama queens start using Syfi instead?

Also could be titled Top 5 reasons Caprica will suck too. Or maybe top five things I hope they fix with Caprica? An extended version of the pilot will have its world premiere exclusively on DVD on April 21, 2009 so I thought I would piss in some people’s Cheerios in celebration. I hope you fanboys enjoy!

5. Human Cylons totally changed the entire concept and story of the show. They might as well have just used a different title. The robots they did have looked cool as hell! They should have made those a bigger part of the show.

4. Over use of the word “Frak”. Yes, I know this was used in the original. It just wasn’t so over used. They beat that dead horse until it was a ozzing pile of mush. I’m also pretty sick of everyone saying “So say we all” every chance they can. Get over it. The show wasn’t THAT great.

3. Can you say pretentious? The show took it’s self way too seriously. The original was a drama too, but there was some humor. Firefly was a space drama too, but it also made me laugh more than most comedies. Even Shakespeare knew to make the audience laugh in between pummeling them with dark brooding drama. Even the new show Kings knows to keep that balance.

2. Plot holes! The plot had more holes than the local put put golf course. It made the whole thing impossible to follow. Was Kara a ghost, a figment of some peoples imagination, or yet another cylon? I could write a daily blog for months just picking apart every plot hole this show had. I just don’t care enough.

1. Canon VS Re-Imagining! Ok, let me get this straight. Even though the original “Hand Of God” episode clearly was set after the Apollo 11 moon landing in July of 1969, this newest version of the series tries to say that they kicked off humanity for this planet thousands of years before modern day? Was this latest version of BSG supposed to be a prequel then? I understand Re-Imagining, but this might as well have been titled as an entirely different show.

Now let me be clear about a few things. I did watch every single episode of this abortion they called Battlestar Galactica. At first it was because I was such a fan of the original and every week I hoped against hope that things would pick up. I wanted so badly for it to be good. By the time I was going to give up and remove it from my DVR schedule, they announced it was the last season. So don’t even try to say I didn’t give it a chance. I saw every episode!

Some may try to defend their beloved show by saying that this was a modernization and that is why style was made such an important element. I just wish they didn’t put style over substance. I think Firefly was a perfect example of how to do a modern style space drama without being so damn pretentious. Maybe if they would have chilled out a little and didn’t take themselves so seriously it would have been able to last the standard 100 episodes. Yes, I know my precious Firefly was canceled after only one season. On a future blog post I will blast Joss Wedon for sticking with Fox when Sci-Fi channel would have been a way better home for his stuff. Firefly would have lasted for decades on Sci-Fi. This I am sure of.