Top Ten Lists
Monday, February 15th, 2010
by Mark Carras
Sexual Chocolate
Ok, so as a follow up to my “Top Ten Worst band names Ever!” post, here is my top 10 tips to a good band name. I figured it was only fair since there might be a few of you second guessing calling yourselves “I went To The Store To Buy A Grape For Lunch”. Please notice that I am calling these tips and not rules. Why? Because rules are made to be broken. Tips are something to consider. So sure there will be exceptions. I know there are great bands that defy these tips. That is why they are just tips. Not rules. For the most part however, they hold true and should be strongly considered.
1. Keep it short.
Although a one word band name will most likely end up with you in court with ten million other unimaginative losers who thought of the same band name, you don’t want anything too long. Two words is a little more safe, but three words is the limit! Anymore than three words and your band name is very likely a inside joke that will get old very fast and most won’t even get. This will cause most people to just dismiss your band before they even hear the first note. You say the band isn’t serious anyways? Most of the greatest bands around were started off as just something to pass the time. So make sure the band name isn’t something you will think of as a curse when things shockingly get serious.
2. Can You Chant It?
Try chanting the name Slayer. Pretty easy eh? Now try chanting any of the bands from my worst band names list. Sucks, don’t it? Even if you are playing to 100 friends at the local tavern, you will want a name that will remain fun to chant for years to come.
3. Is it taken already?
Check every source you can. Check Amazon to make sure there isn’t a cd from a band with that name. Then check Wikipedia. Then check MySpace music section. If you are a Metal band check Metal-Archives. They have a database of Metal bands that is so big it is ridiculous. Check Cd Baby too. Then check to see if you can get the dot com domain. If you can’t get the dot com website don’t bother. Once you check all of those, grab those spaces as soon as you can before someone else does!
4. What Does It Say About The Band?
I hate to reference Slayer so often, but what does that name say about the band? They are going to slay! You know right off the bat they they are not some wimpy acoustic folk band. There was a local band around the Seattle area in the 90’s called Forced Entry. What does that say about the band? What does Trans-Siberian Orchestra say about that band? With that you know it is going to be some epic music with some really well thought out arrangements. You know that there is going to be some really great orchestral instrumentation. Pick a name that sends the right message for the band.
5. Make sure it doesn’t sound like that other band
So if you have a band name that confuses people into thinking you are another band, you will get some pretty ticked off people showing up at your concerts. Imagine if a band was called something like “Epic Nirvana”? Or how about “Anthrax Exodus”? That last name might be good for a Thrash Metal tribute band, but otherwise it would suck the taint of a dead pigeon (if a pigeon has a taint)!
6. Don’t use any brand names
It might be funny to name yourselves “Microsoft Blue Screen” for awhile, but the joke will get old when the lawyers come knocking at your door.
7. Enough with the name dropping!
I have seen a trend where bands will use a famous actress or actor in their band name. Stop it! It makes it hard for your fans and friends to find you on the internet because all they will find is that actress. It also might land you in court. Plus, joke names get old really quick.
8. No swear words
Notice how many of these rules could be reduced down to a rule of “No joke names”? They get old real quick and create more problems than they are worth. You will have a hard time putting up flyers, coming up in search engines, getting on even the local band radio shows, or even sometimes getting shows.
9. Think about search engines
In this day and age you need to think about search engines. Do you have at least one word that will help your band own that “phrase” in search? I have to say that I thought the band name Arkaea was stupid at first. Then I started putting it into search engines to research for an interview with the band. They always came up first because it isn’t a real word. They made the word up so they wouldn’t have to compete with anyone in any way. Smart guys I have to say.
10. Can fans spell it?
Yes, I know I just gave the band Arkaea points for coming up with a name that gets great Google juice, but I have to look up Fear Factory every time to remember how to spell the damn thing! Your band won’t have that reference, so make sure people can spell it!
Now I know that if you try to think of a band name that fits all these tips you will drive yourself crazy. That’s ok. A little insanity has done Ozzy well, right? Seriously, if you have the imagination to write great songs this should not be a problem. I remember a few years ago people started complaining that all the good website domain names were taken. Since then my wife and myself have grabbed RockMyMonkey.com, HeavyAsHell.com, QueenOfCheese.com and many others. If you have the imagination it will happen. If you can’t pull off a good name, you don’t have what it takes to write great music anyways. This is the first test. Will you pass?
Monday, February 15th, 2010
by Mark Carras
Wyld Stallyns
A band name is a tricky thing I know. First off you need something that hasn’t been taken yet. The best one word band names were taken a couple decades ago. Slayer, Bitch, Overkill, Motorhead, and many more. A band with imagination however can still come up with something cool. Look at Goatwhore! That has to be one of the best band names in history and they have only been around since 1997!
So what makes a great band name? Look for another top ten list coming very soon to this blog! Until then here are the Top Ten Worst Band Names EVER! In case you think I made any of these horrid names up, I have linked to the websites of each and every one of them. Enjoy?
1. Iwrestledabearonce
Ok, I have no issue with the gay connection. Rob Halford is gay and one of the coolest people I have ever had the pleasure to interview. But that is more like a sentence than a band name. Try and chant their name for a few seconds and then try and chant Slayer and see which one roles off the tongue better.
2. Scary Kids Scaring Kids
Why not just be Scary Kids? This name is just plain retarded. It shows zero imagination and that is something a band might need people to believe they actually have.
3. Horse the Band
Ok, so the band name Horse was already taken? Why not something like “Horse Rider” or Horse Trainer” or “Horse Lover”? Now that last one I might be able to believe.
4. I Set My Friends On Fire
Really? Now this could be used as a cd title and no one would have said anything. Sure it’s about as stupid as it gets but it sounds like a cd title. Not a band name.
5. Attack Attack!
Ok, so if a band name you want has already been taken, just repeat it until you can claim it as yours? If this band was talented at all they could have come up with a better name.
6. The Devil Wears Prada
Now I interviewed this band a few weeks ago and even they regret the name. While many may get the message of anti-materialism, most will just think they named themselves after a stupid chick flick.
7. The Number Twelve Looks Like You
I understand that this is a name taken from the title of an episode of the The Twilight Zone. But it is still lame as hell. This is another one that might pass off as a really weak cd title. As a band name it just smells like yesterdays diapers.
8. Circle Takes the Square
Seriously? They named themselves after a cliche from a game show my grandma used to watch? A band name should make a statement and this band obviously wants you to know they both suck and blow.
9. See You Next Tuesday
Yes I know that this is a reference to C U Next Tuesday. Which spells out the word you never call a female unless you really want to piss her off. Most of the bands on this list have a band name that would make a worthless cd title, this band name would have made a great cd title. It’s just a bad band name.
10. Starring Janet Leigh
Have we run out of ideas this bad? Really? Do I even have to say why this band name screams a lack of the same imagination that is required to make good music?
Sunday, January 24th, 2010
by Mark Carras
Shorty Awards
So it is time for the Shorty Awards again eh? They had to have them just a few weeks before I drop a bomb on the music industry March 1st. Right now I have absolutely nothing going on and have a bigger chance at winning something insulting.
After March I could win something really cool though. So I figure I might as well have fun with this. I doubt I will win anything. So instead I offer the top ten Shorty Awards I might have a chance at. Just for the sake of a good laugh. Enjoy and please help me win one of them.
So if you want to be a smart ass, feel free to nominate me for one of the following. I do have something I would like to win though if you take these kinds of things seriously. Not sure I take any awards seriously though. I’d rather make a joke out of it. How about you?
1. http://shortyawards.com/category/idiot
2. http://shortyawards.com/category/douchery
3. http://shortyawards.com/category/douche
4. http://shortyawards.com/category/annoying
5. http://shortyawards.com/category/ignorance
5. http://shortyawards.com/category/dork
6. http://shortyawards.com/category/asshole
7. http://shortyawards.com/category/curmudgeon
8. http://shortyawards.com/category/narcissism
9. http://shortyawards.com/category/deleteyouraccount
10. http://shortyawards.com/category/asshat
However, let me be clear that if you want to be nice you will give me a nomination for http://shortyawards.com/category/media I won’t mind. Can I beg for your nomination?
Thursday, December 17th, 2009
by Mark Carras
Top Ten Companies that have burnt bridges with me:
1. Sprint
Too bad since Sprint is known for both the least reliable connections as well as the worst customer service. All mobile phone company’s are evil, but Sprint is by far the worst.
2. Real Networks/Rhapsody
They used to be ok, but it looks like their current business model is to pay companies like Verizon to crap on their customers and re-brand it as “VMusic”. Even Best Buy has sold out their customers because of a little payola. Tricking people into using your service is a really bad business model.
3. The New York Times
I made a huge rant about this one last week at this location.
4. Tom Hanks
I know he isn’t a company per se, but let’s get real for a second. Since the movie Big all he has done was kneel down and give Oscar oral gratification. He has zero interest in making a good movie. It’s more about getting another award. And if you have paid attention at all you would know that winning an Oscar says nothing about the quality of a movie. It is because he acts more like a company that I boycott everything he does.
5. Wal-Mart
Ok, I’ve never been a big fan of this store chain. Before they even had a store in my area I did pay $200 for a computer. That was about 7 years ago though. If more people had my Wal-Mart shopping habits that place would crawl; back for the hell it came. They are killing off some o the greatest things about America. The mom and pop stores for one. Some of you may remember when you could go down to the local hardware store and there would be three generations working it. The really old guy whose only job was to put up the American flag in the morning and chit chat to the customers. He started the store when he was young and is pretty much retired now. Then there is that guys son who pretty much ran the store at that point. Of course you would have the young son who was being trained to take over as his father did. Now grandpa is humiliated with a “greeter” job, dad is a stock boy, and the kid is trying his best to hold off his depressing future as long as he can. They are killing America and if you shop there you are too!
6. Dell
Now I know that most geeks seem to love this company and I don’t know why. I had a Dell and it was a nightmare. The USB ports fried out soon after we got the thing. Customer service pretty much didn’t exsist. My wife’s HP has lasted longer than my Dell ever did and with zero problems. So my last laptop was an HP as well. Have not had a single issue with it either. Horrid customer service and crappy products means you will never get another penny from me. I have told millions already and will continue to do so. You still owe me a new laptop you bastards!
7. Progressive Insurance
Under the advice of my attorney I can’t say anything about why they are on this list.
8. 5 Hour Energy Drink
Sorry, but I gave it a good try and I noticed no difference at all. My strongest feeling is that it is a total placebo. However, there are a few smart people whose word I trust that swear by it. So maybe it is a body chemistry thing. Either way it doesn’t work on me at all. Plus it tastes nasty as hell.
9. Fandango
I used to love to buy my tickets through this site. I will never do this again though. This company has proven that they have no problem with screwing over their customers for a cheap buck. 1-800-Flowers, Buy.com, Classmates.com, Columbia House, Expedia, Hotels.com, FTD, Hotwire, Orbitz, Priceline, Travelocity, Tiger Direct, True.com, Live Nation, 1-800-petmeds, AllPosters.com, American Greetings, eToys, eHarmony, eTix, Bizrate, Barnes And Noble, Pizza Hut, and tons more were also involved in this shocking scam. Please Click Here for info on that. I might check movie listings, but I will never give them my credit card number ever again. They can’t be trusted!
10. AVG Anti-Virus
Ok, I have only used the free version, but I’m not big on anti-virus software in the first place. I have obsessively used computers for well over a decade and I have not once had a virus. I know enough about computers to not get them. I don’t use the preview pane on my email, I don’t ever open exe files that are sent to me before calling the person to make sure they really sent them, I never open any exe file I am not 100% confident about, I don’t go to sites I don’t trust 100%.
So why will I never use AVG ever again? Too much bloatware now. I don’t want the stupid Yahoo toolbar and you should have given people a choice on that. Yahoo isn’t too high on my list either, but I never used them much anyways. So now I use Microsoft Security Essentials on all my computers. It’s free too, but doesn’t come with all the crap AVG puts on there. It was as bad as getting a virus!
I am sure there are more, but these are the ones I came up with over the several months I have been working on this damn article. To be honest, every time I went to add someone to the list I realized the bridge wasn’t burnt bad enough for me to boycott the company for life. These ten however are dead to me unless they contact me directly, promise they will change their evil ways, and do something major to make up for being evil.
What companies are dead to you and why?
Tuesday, December 1st, 2009
by Mark Carras
Ok, so I have touched on this subject before HERE and HERE. However, I have never posted about this from the approach of the regular user. Some of it has been mentioned on these pages before, but again those articles are not specifically directed at the regular user. So here are the top ten mistakes I see people make. These rules work for metalheads, bands, fans, labels, online magazines, and anyone else.
1. Begging for followers.
I see people making tons of posts asking for followers. Why should people follow you? Give them a reason! Post good content. This could mean things that make people laugh, great articles you come across, or anything else interesting. See an article you like? Post a link!
2. Not filling out the bio
Just like rule number one, give people a reason to follow you. Tell us the things you are into that might be interesting to others. You enjoy metal? Saying so in the bio will get you metal fans. Are you an obsessive gammer? List your favorite games and you will get followers that also like those games. As you can see this isn’t brain surgery.
3. Use the link in the bio wisely
I have seen people post a URL shortener link in the spot where you should put a link to your website. This makes it look like a total spam account. Use the real url. I have also seen people post the link to the same Twitter account. What is the purpose of that? Of course nothing looks worse than no link at all. Post a link. Post a real link. It can be your MySpace profile, Facebook profile, or a website all your own. Just be open and honest about it.
4. Change the avatar
Using the default avatar is the worst! Of course the best is to use a photo of what the account represents. If it is an online magazine make it the magazines logo, mascot, or editor. If it is a person make it a nice close up, a cartoon head of the person, or something else that represents that person. Slightly better than the default is a photo of a pet, your favorite band, or your favorite celebrity. Just please do not use the default!
5. Using a URL shortener at all
Now don’t get me wrong, I use a URL shortener from time to time. However I only use it if I absolutely have to. Many people will never trust a shortened link at all. If it comes from a trusted person they fear it is a hacked account. Hacked accounts are getting VERY common, so it’s a well informed paranoia. If I am looking at accounts on Tweet Chart for people to follow, I will be hesitant to follow an account flooded with Bit.ly links for this very reason. I will assume it is either a hacked account or just a spammer. So only use a shortener if you absolutely have to. It makes you look like a spammer.
6. Getting your account hacked
Now of course the way to avoid getting your account hacked is to be very careful about the links you click on Twitter. That is the number one way accounts get hacked. However there are ways to make sure your account hasn’t been hacked. The best way is to look at the sent tab in your direct messages. If your account has been hacked it will be sending out spam to your followers direct message boxes and pissing them off. Check that DM sent tab often!
7. Auto DM thank you messages are spammy
Sending out a thank you for someone following you ticks off more people than it doesn’t. So don’t do it. The path to being labeled a spammer is paved with good intentions. The worst is if you include a link.
8. Auto-Follow only if you have to
Are you a multi-platinum band selling out arenas? You don’t have time to sift through your followers to make sure you only follow back legit people. So you’re forgiven for using the auto-follow. Also, bands and webzines that have very limited staff. Obviously some bands are so small that they doon’t have room for a netbook with it’s own portable internet connection in the overly cramped tour van. I have to use auto-follow for the RockMyMonkey.com account. I’m lucky if I have time to sift through the followers of my personal account. There is no way I could do that for RMM too. But there is no excuse for doing the auto-follow on a personal account. That’s just spammy.
9. Letting your following and follower ratio get to far to one side
A spammer will almost always have way less followers than the amount you are following. Noobs to Twitter will come in like a lion and start following every account they can find in a lame attempt to get followers. This is a major mistake for many reasons. First it makes you look like a spammer. This will cause the highest quality people to not follow you back. The second reason would be of course that you end up with a ton of low quality people. So if it is just a numbers game to you and the only thing that matters is getting the number up go right ahead and do this. Your amount of followers will indeed go up. The problem is that it will be nothing but spammers, bots, and dead accounts with auto-follow turned on. This is also how you get hacked. You get a bunch of phishing scams in your feed tempting you to click links that take over your account! Don’t just blind follow to get followers, because you will only get the worst followers this way.
10. Never forget the social part of social networking
Twitter is a social networking site. So many forget the social part of that. It’s a community. Watch the people who use the #metal hash tag a lot. We are a small but passionate group of people. Sometimes we talk a lot of smack to each other, but we also support each other. It’s a very high quality group of people that follow back, re-tweet, and follow Friday like crazy. We talk back and forth too. We are very social. I spent a ton of time with a friend to create the Tweet Chart for a few hundred people. Why not do something more trendy like Twilight that would have got me ten times more followers? Because I don’t give a rats ass what Twilight fans have to say or care about. I would rather have way less followers if those are not only quality people, but also people I care about. We follow each other because we want to be social with each other. It’s all about the social!
There are new people coming into Twitter all the time. Send them this top ten list. There are tons of people that have been on Twitter for months and still make these mistakes. Send them this list too. Better habits make it a better place for all.
Saturday, May 30th, 2009
by Mark Carras
Ok, so a friend and I have been working on a little project the past few weeks. It is an automated ranking of Twitter users. I leaked the secret url to the rank list and ended up with a few responses that made it clear this explanation was needed. So here are the top ten things you should know about Mark’s automated Twitter chart. You can find the chart by clicking HERE.
While we are working out the bugs, this will be the FAQ of sorts. If this doesn’t answer all your questions, please let me know. This project is as much yours as it is the two guys creating it.
10. The site tracks how often an account tweets the hashtag #metal but only within the last week. The reason it only cares about how often you have talked about metal within the last week is so that users who move on from Twitter will drop from the chart. It will also prune people from the chart that just ‘gamed’ their way to the chart.
9. There is no need to ask me to put you on the list. It is automated. Just start tweeting with #metal and it will add you automatically.
8. I know that this may not be the best way to rank metalheads on Twitter. At some point I may perfect this.
7. No I did not do this alone. I suck at code too much to ever pull something like this off. The concept was mine and I am in charge of most of the design. Code is done by @meltedmatch He’s not a metalhead though. Just a friend trying to help me out.
6. Have I mentioned that the list is 100% automated?
5. This is a work in progress. Please be patient. It will be way less ugly when we are done.
4. Feel free to spread the list around, but the url will change when it is out of beta (finished).
3. This program is new and unfinished. It still has some bugs in it we are trying to work out. So the algorithm is not doing exactly what we want yet. When we are finished the point system will make more sense. For example, the score currently gives people more than one point per #metal tag. We are working on fixing that and making it only give one point per #metal hash tag.
2. No I will not make it track several hashtags. Just keep it simple. Always use #metal
1. If an artist uses the term indie to describe their music, please shoot them. I know it has nothing to do with this chart. I just REALLY hate the term “indie”.
No, none of these were meant as insults at any Twitter user. Those who had questions had good questions. Those good questions made me realize I should make this list. If this top ten list doesn’t explain something, let me know. I’m really a nice guy. I only bitch slap stupid people.
Find the chart at http://markcarras.com/twitter/rank.php
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/MarkCarras
Friday, May 1st, 2009
by Mark Carras
Top Ten Things Bands screw up on Twitter!
10. #followFriday
Follow Friday is where you pick someone you are following and “pimp” their profile to everyone else following you. “#followfriday @rockmymonkey because it posts some great music news” is fine. Keep it simple. Now some do the lazy Follow Friday where they say something like “#followfriday @markcarras @isewdollies @rockmymonkey @HeavyAsHell” with no explanation of why you should follow that person. Details are very important and people will be more thankful you cared enough to pimp them exclusively on that one message. Make it about quality and not quantity.
9. RT’s can gain you fans
Now this only works for bands trying to gain attention. Unsigned or mostly unknown bands need to do the Re-tweet! What is a Re-tweet? When you see someone sending a message you like, agree with, or is talking about your band, re-send it to the people you follow. If nothing else this can be used to encourage people to talk about your band.
8. Not being on “We Follow”
This is how you can find new fans. Or even fans you have had for decades but they don’t know the band is on Twitter.
7. Not doing updates
Ok, depending on how big your band is you may want to post different stuff. Once a day is fine for most. “Playing Chicago tonight. Who’s gonna be there?” can work for pro level bands. If you are unsigned, let people know how the new cd is going, what clubs you are going to play, what merch you are working on, or even some contest where you need your fans to show their support.
6. Not filling out a bio!
Sure everyone knows who Queensryche is, but most bands can have Gold albums and still not be known to most people. Keep it simple though. “We are the band Blah and we play old school thrash!” is all you need. The band name and what style you play is all you really need. Don’t try and be cute or funny. Just tell people who you are and what you play. If you are some wussy indie pop band I need to know that so I don’t follow your yawn inducing crap of a band.
5. Not uploading an image
It makes your profile look fake and spammy. A band photo or logo is fine. It takes just a few seconds and makes everything look way better.
4. Paying someone to run the account
This makes your band look like they don’t care about their fans. Call me if you need to know how to make this so easy even a drummer can do it. (just joking, we love drummers too)
3. Not responding to fans
Ok, your main focus is creating great music. So don’t try to respond to every message. Try to be strategical about it. But please try and respond to a about ten percent. 1% if you currently pack 10 thousand seat arenas.
2. Not Following Back!
Twitter is about being able to interact with your fans. @reply every once in awhile. Even Shaq does it, so what’s your excuse? You think you’re bigger than him? If your lazy you can at least use @socialtoo to auto-follow people back.
1. Not being on Twitter
Seriously! I am shocked that many bands are not using this great tool. This leaves it open to someone creating fake accounts and screwing with your fanbase. Very bad!
Yes, I know that last link doesn’t work. That’s the point. Nevermore needs to get their collective butts in gear! All my other links however do go to real places. Each point is made with a link to an account that SHOULD be doing something on Twitter they were not doing at the time I posted this article. Most of them fit several of my points though.
I like to think of myself as the “Rock ‘n’ Roll Tech Consultant” so please feel free to contact me if anyone needs advice or consulting. I work dirt cheap and even free for most things. So contact me on Twitter if you have a quick question. Call 360-789-0703 for paid phone tech support if you need that little extra.
http://twitter.com/MarkCarras
Wednesday, April 29th, 2009
by Mark Carras
Top Ten internet Memes that need to die!
As a geek I will admit that I love internet memes. I’m a huge fan of them myself. What I hate though is when people just beat them to death. It’s like re-animating a corpse just to kill it again. Let the dead rest in peace will ya?!
10. Pwnd
Sure this one works when it fits, but I find it is one of the most over used internet memes around. People use it for the tiniest little thing. “Oh you got pastrami when you wanted ham and cheese. Pwnd!” This is used by very insecure people that need any excuse to feel better about their pathetic little lives, but don’t have enough imagination to think of something original.
9. Fail
Seriously? Can you not even offer a full sentence? Everything I said about pwned can be also said about this one. It stinks of unimaginative loser. If all you can say is ‘Fail’ then you are a total failure when it comes to creating insults…you sorry excuse for your daddy’s man seed!
8. I can haz?
Ok, I will admit it. I find LOLcats to be as addictive as crack to a homeless bum, but enough with the “I can Haz…” crap. No you can’t have an original thought. That’s obvious you waste of space!
7. Rick Rolled
I’ve heard of beating a dead horse, but this has reached frightening levels. This horse was dead about a year ago. Can we please move on to something new?
6. Nom Nom Nom
Yeah I chuckled when I first saw the turtle too. But was it funny enough to be used every time someone posts what they are having for lunch on Twitter?
5. Any variation of 2 girls 1 cup
Try as I might, I was never able to watch that video for more than a few seconds. It was train wreck kind of funny for awhile, but there is so much more that can be done with poop jokes. It seems a waste to keep recycling this one.
4.Don’t Tase Me, Bro!
Like most of the items on this list, this was funny for a time. The guy who said it was an idiot. I get it. I’ve just heard it way too many times. I don’t care how funny a joke is. If you tell it enough, it gets as annoying as a Will Ferrel movie marathon.
3. O RLY?
Now you all know that I lean a little to the left, right? I understand why the spotted owl is important. That being said, this owl needs to be killed! I want to eat him on a burger cooked on a wood fire grill dripping with barbecue sauce. There are tons of things you can say without being another douchebag re-hashing this one stupid line. Seriously? Or how about ‘If you think that you ride the short bus’ or even ‘Don’t make me hit you’. All you have to do is think. I know that is asking a lot, but I know you can do it.
2. Chris Crocker references
“Leave ____ alone” has gotten really out of control. If you did a parody on this after the first month or two fine. Chris deserved to be made fun of. The problem is that people just don’t seem to know when the joke is well past it’s due date.
1. Susan Boyle
Come on people! You do know that footage was totally staged and edited to get the planned reaction, right? You were all punked and you continue to be punked. She wasn’t THAT great. If a hot chick had the same voice no one would have even noticed.
Now I want to make it clear that I spelled punked the way I did for a very good reason. This has nothing to do with any show Ashton Kutcher was part of and I have been saying that since the 80’s. So that is my list. Now please feel free to post insults about me below. Just please try to use some tiny amount of imagination.
Tuesday, April 28th, 2009
by Mark Carras
Top Ten new slogans for Fox News:
1. The darkest comedy channel on television
2. We can dish it out but we can’t take it
3. That was then…this is now
4. I have no recollection of ever saying that
5. If you thought we spun things before…you ain’t seen nothing yet!
6. We use flash and flair to make racism purddy.
7. We got tea bagged by lack of research.
8. If you take us seriously, you ain’t paying attention.
9. Proof that being sore losers doesn’t make you a rebel.
10. Because Journalistic integrity is bad for business.
Tuesday, April 28th, 2009
by Mark Carras
Top Ten ad networks to promote your band!
1. Fixion Media
Focused on hard rock and metal. Best if you can only afford one network and need to get to your band’s specific audience on a budget.
2. Indie Click
They cover metal, rock, punk, goth, and even horror movie fans. Great place if you get a hold of a good chunk of ad budget.
3. Blast Beat
If your band has a style that can be described as metal elitist, this is an ad network you really should check out.
4. Ultimate Metal
Just one site, but they are cheap and will give you more than your money’s worth.
5. KNAC
Another site that is not part of a network. They are a bit over priced, but they do have a following you could use if you can afford it.
6. Google Ad Words
Sure it is the largest ad network, but not at all what I would call target audience.
7. Microsoft Ad Center
This is a brand new one, but I hear great things. I hope Microsoft will challenge Google to be as good as they should have been this whole time.
8. YouTube
Yes I know they are owned by Goolge. However, I am not talking about the text ads. I am talking about that little link that says “Promote” next to videos you submit. Ever think about paying a little extra to get more eyeballs on your bands YouTube videos?
9. Stumble Upon
Did you know that you can pay to have people “stumble” on to your band’s website? The bad news is that this will burn ad dollars so quick it will make your head spin.
10. Buzz Net
I have checked out this site and it makes no sense to me. A few websites I go to claim that their ads are done by Buzz Net, but yet Buzznet seems to be it’s own webzine. So try as I might I could not figure out anything about this one. Of course I’m sure I could do some research, but I feel that if you have to contact the people to find out info then they have some issues that need to be dealt with.
So there you have it. This is the best info I have right now. Over time I will try to tweak the info I have so this can be a great resource for everyone. Ok, to be honest I really don’t care about any of you. I will keep this updated for my own purposes and if you benefit from that I really don’t care.
Just to be clear, the only ones I have used myself are most of the top 6. However, top 6 lists don’t seem to get any attention. So I added the others. I may try the others if I’m ever in a situation where I have a regular ad budget. Until then feel free to talk smack about this info in the comments.
