Tech consultant for Olympia, Lacey, And Tumwater

So what might we be doing wrong with HeavyAsHell? I hear people talk up a storm about how important niche is to social networking and news. I also hear how you don’t need a big budget to be successful. So is rock related social news just a bad idea? I have a really hard time believing that one. Does our current contest suck? I am pretty sure it doesn’t. I have done everything I can to get the word out on this contest, but was shocked when the site showed no activity at all this morning. No one wants a Guitar Hero World Tour Band Kit package?

Now maybe everyone in social media already has the game? So I am asking for some help. Now of course I mention my online friend Robert Scoble because he seems like the kind of guy that gets excited helping others. However, anyone with some ideas is welcome to comment. Most of the time I despise advice because it comes from people who obviously know nothing about either the problem or the situation. It’s like calling tech support and they always ask if you have tried re-booting the computer. Did they even listen to the question? So please take a look at the site before giving advice. Also, yes I have sent the message through my Twitter account, plurk account, Facebook, MySpace, Friend Feed (several rooms), a few music related bulletin boards, and a lan party I ended up at this weekend. So don’t bother giving that advice. I was also allowed to go on the two biggest social media podcasts. The Drill Down & Social Blend.

So Robert Scoble or anyone else, please tell me what I am doing wrong. Can this not be done with zero budget? I don’t have a ton of money, so I have to have it grow organically if I am to do it at all. Is rock related social media just a bad idea? Does social media always have to be SEO telling other SEO how to SEO? Is Guitar Hero a bad contest prize? Let me know. This morning I felt like giving up to be honest. Thanks in advance.

Top Ten people & things that will die in 2009!

1. The RIAA.
They have been dying all through 2008 already so this may not be that big of a stretch. They have had major labels leave already too. Now very recently they have said they will stop suing individuals and start suing internet service providers. Small problem. Warner Bros is both a record company and an ISP. So will the WB pay the RIAA to sue them? I don’t think so. Things are falling apart faster than ever for this organization.

2. Yahoo!
If it doesn’t just totally fade to black it will be split off into so many pieces that it will be there in name only. Either that or it will be swallowed up in part or in whole by another bigger fish.

3. Steve Jobs
Can’t do MacWorld because of hypertension eh? Next year he won’t be able to do MacWorld because of a bad case of death. Sorry fanboys. Suck it!

4. Blue-Ray
No one cares! Unless you have the money for a really big screen and a sweet sound system, regular DVD is just as good. Since most people can’t afford a system that will get anything out of Blue-Ray, it’s a moot point. This along with everything going streaming, physical formats are going to follow soon after.

5. Amy Whinehouse
I’m shocked that crack whore made it to 2009. If she makes it to 2010 I will go live on Ustream singing show tunes by request on New Years day. Seriously. Feel free to call me on it.

6. Digg
Mixx has been catching up quick and niche social news sites will grow until they are the final nail in the coffin that is this waste of bytes. Kevin Rose will then drink himself to death when his “Dark Tipper” micro-brew is found to cause ‘shrinkage’.

7. Palm
Robert Scoble has been saying that Palm have recruited a ton of the people that made the iPhone so big. Several people are saying that this new phone is amazing. I say it doesn’t matter how great the phone is because some idiot made an exclusive deal with Sprint. That company is notorious for having the least reliable network. If you can’t get a signal, who cares how great the phone is?  All mobile phone companies are evil, but Sprint is the worst. Palm could have become huge again, but making a deal with Sprint will be the final nail in their coffin. Mark my words!

8. Pete Doherty
Just like with Amy, I’m very shocked this junkie has lived to see 2009. If he makes it to 2010 I will shave “B.S.” into my chest hairs in honor of his band Babyshambles.

9. Print Media
Ok, I’m sure that a few very niche publications will still be around, but every major magazine and every major newspaper will switch to an online focus before the end of the year. Do some research and you will find out that this is not much of a streatch. I’m not even close to being the only person with this prediction.

10. Santa
If that fat bastard doesn’t get me that camera lens and camera I want for Christmas this time I will hunt him down and gut him like Ted Nugent gone wild at a wildlife sanctuary!

Make sure and follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/MarkCarras

This could also be titled “Why DVR’s are killing advertising”, or maybe “Why print media is dying”, or who knows what else. First off I want to make it clear that I am one of those liberal douchebags you hear about. From that you would assume I would blindly love the New York Times. For the longest time this was true, but because I watch the BBC in the morning for my news I have begun to despise them. This little rant is my way of trying to explain why. My pathetic little pipe dream is that someone at the New York Times will read this and put a stop to this stupidity.

More times than I have cared to count I have been woken up by a commercial with more ignorance per second than I have heard in a long time. It starts out with this little quote, “There’s the week, there’s the weekend, and then there’s the Weekender.”  Ok, seriously? Two of those are measurements of time and one is a tangible product. You can’t compare them. It makes no sense at all. You’ve heard of “Apples to oranges”? Well this is apples to quantum singularity!

The next line is almost as bad. This part is almost annoying as the first one. This guy comes on and claims “I’m not one of those call now guys.” Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t that make him the quintessential ‘Call Now Guy’ from this point on? I think we should all start throwing stuff at this guy when we see him on the street while we yell “Screw you ‘Call Now Guy’. You suck!”  Then he follows that up with “…but you should call now.” If that doesn’t make him the official ‘Call Now Guy’ I don’t know what would.

The commercial ends with “Who doesn’t like to start the weekend a day early?” I think someone out there should just not show up for work and when your boss asks you why just say you subscribe to this moronic waste of trees. Yeah, that’s your excuse. You started the weekend a day early like the bimbo said you could. Then sue the New York Times when you get fired. There have been way more frivolous law suits that have one. I think you have a chance.

As I said at the start of this rant, this is why DVR’s are killing advertising. People like me pop a blood vessel when we hear such concentrated forms of moronic drivel. I hope some of the people responsible for this garbage see this and put a stop to it so I can go back to respecting this paper. If not it at least made me feel better to get this off my chest. Now really, it’s a physical entity that had lodged itself in between my chest hairs. Do you think I’d say something so retarded if it wasn’t true?  Who do you think I am? The New York Times?

So many of you may know that I recently cut about 5 feet of hair off. Two five foot pony tails where donated to LocksOfLove.org and it was all captured on camera. I was shocked at how few regrets I have had about cutting my hair. I thought I would miss it, but I guess it was time. I love not ever having to comb or brush it, not having to fix it, and not having to even use conditioner. It has grown back pretty quick, but I don’t want to grow it out too much because I might have to go back to some of that time consuming crap I hate again. All good things.

But this post is not really about the many positives. This is about the one negative. Well meaning people giving complements that come off as backhanded, demeaning, and sometimes down right insulting! The first one I want to talk about is being called “handsome”. What!? I might have enjoyed that one when I was 5, but I think I am a little old to be called “Handsome”. It’s not like I am wearing a school boy uniform or anything. I also hate being told I look “nice”. I didn’t do this to look “nice”. In fact if there is anything that makes me want to grow it all back it is being told that I look “nice”. To someone like me this is pretty much an insult. There is also that part of me that wonders if they are saying I used to look like crap. “Oh you look so nice now.” What did I look like crap before?

All of these kind of complements are not even honest I don’t feel. I don’t think these people think I look like the cover of GQ magazine all the sudden or anything. So what are they really trying to say? They are trying to say that they like that I look “respectable” now. They are trying say they like how I look “proper”. I’m pretty sure it has very little to do with me being attractive, easy on the eyes, or even pleasant to look at! It reminds me of those cheesy movies and tv shows from the 90′s about “getting with the program”. It’s like they are just jumping up and down with glee expecting that the next step is that I will start wearing polo shirts and three piece suits. It isn’t going to happen people. I’m just not that guy. I never will be, but I do hope you hold your breath waiting. SHITHEAD!

So in in the few social networking sites I am able to find time for, I run into people that seem to be total drama queens. It drives me freakin’ nuts! One of the things I hate to hear are the people that whine about things inspired by that whole battle of the sexes garbage. What the hell is that about? I don’t know about you, but when I was hunting for the person I wanted to spend my life with I tried to find someone who didn’t bug me or piss me off. Maybe it’s just me, but if the person gets on your nerves why are you with them? Maybe I’m selfish but I wanted someone who was ready to join me in the battle of me against the world. Me and my wife are a team. We are an army of two. Sure we have friends both online and in real life, but when it comes down to it I always know she has my back.

So if you are bitching about your spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend I think you picked the wrong person and need to move on! Seriously, they are not the one and you are wasting your time with them. Did you settle? Not my problem, so stop posting about it and bothering other people with your problems that you made your own damn self!

Now granted, we both need time away from each other from time to time. I go take photos at rock concerts. My wife goes over to a friends house to work on girl things. But neither of us would say anything like “I’m sick of you, so could you go away for a few hours.” If you are saying negative crap like that then you are not in love.

I also never got the whole creating drama just so you can have “Make up sex”. Is your life that small and pathetic? You need to create a fight just to get in the mood? You have some serious issues and you need help.

It also seem to me that the people that complain about drama queens are the worst and most annoying drama queens. So could I be the same type of person that makes me want to bang my head into a wall? Maybe. At least I don’t have one of those “Save the drama for yo mamma” stickers, shirts, or hats. Those people are always drama magnets.

So I love both Ustream & StickAm. Let me start out this rant by saying that anyone who complains about what they are giving us all for absolutely free is nothing more than a total douchebag. It’s free, so stop your bitching. However, there is a solution to all of our problems. Give us some pay level of service. Now I mostly use Ustream, so this rant will focus mostly on that service.

Now just like the friendly neighborhood crack dealer, what we get for free is a really great introduction to what they have to offer. Jump into their service with both feet and you will be totally hooked. You will however end up wanting more than what they started out giving you for free. So with this little rant I hope that one of my favorite crack dealers (I will call him Ustream) will offer a few pay services. I am hooked and now I want more crack!

First off, am I the only one who has never been able to play back a video I recorded from Ustream? Never once has it worked for me. As it is a free service I should not bitch. I can however wish they would offer me a pay version that might be put on a higher end (or a less strained) server that would play back more dependably.

Now if you use Ustream to record shows you will also find in the control panel an option to convert your video to a format your followers might be able to download more eaily. Can’t stream the archived video as I mentioned above? No problem! Just convert it to a WMV or an MPEG and let viewers download the thing and watch it offline. Ok, this is another problem. I have never been able to get this so called converter to work! I would also love to have the option to let my followers just download any file type of anything I do at anytime in any way they want. Otherwise what’s the point? Again, I am not complaining about their great free service. I am just saying I would love to have a paid version that offers these few extra things. A higher level of service for a little bit of monthly cash.

Now how much to charge for something like this? Now of course they could charge a few hundred a month to offer the level of service I am talking about in this post. Then they might get 2 or 3 people that would pay. Or they could charge $5 to $10 a month and I am pretty sure they would have a flood of people sign up. When word spreads that it is everything they promise even more people would sign up. This would at least quadruple their revenue in just a few days. If they prove me wrong I will go on my Ustream account wearing a pink tutu lip syncing to Disney Showtunes. What do I have to worry about? It’s not like anyone would be able to view the footage in archives anyways, right?

Wanna know how to get the most out of what they do offer for free? Watch the video below…

So my old smartphone is dying and it is totally time to replace it. Shouldn’t I be excited about that? Why do I dread getting a new phone every time? Why do I wait so long? I think it because every time I feel like I am getting less of a phone than I had before. I never feel like it is an upgrade. Never!  Now let’s compare this to say my new shaver. My old electric shaver is several years old and it was long over due to get replaced. So my wife goes out to get me the new one. She knows I hate change, so she finds the one that is closest to the old one in design. No hole that spews goo on my face in other words. Well, she comes back with something that not only gives me a better shave, doesn’t spit goo at me, but it has an improvement! When I plug the thing in it has these solid red lights. When it is fully charged the lights start to flash. It’s a small little thing, but I like it. Compare that to the charger on my soon to be replaced smartphone. It goes from a red light to a green light. Somehow it is the same little tiny bulb that changes color. Not sure how they do that, but I would have rather had it switch from a red bulb to a green colored bulb. Since I am color blind I could then tell the difference when it switched bulbs. Since it is the same bulb that switches colors, I’m just screwed. Could my shaver people talk to my smartphone people and maybe get them to make the charger light just flash when it was fully charged? The shaver people seem to have their crap together more it seems.

Now I love that they switched the keyboard so it is landscape. This creates a keyboard that is more easy to type on when I am trying to get down notes for a live show review at a concert. So there are some things that have improved. However, there is one thing they totally screwed up. Why the switch to MicroSD? I have walked around tech conferences and asked people why they think this is a good idea. No one could think of one good reason really. Sure there was the “To make it smaller”, but why? Does it make it better? No! It makes it worse. It might be great for little girls with pink phones, but I don’t have the tweezers or the time to mess with something that small. All I am asking is that when I pay several hundred dollars for a new phone that I am as pleased with my purchase as I am when I spend $50 for a new shaver. Can my shaver people make me a new phone instead? You smartphone people are just plain retarded!

Am I a shameless promotion whore or are you just being unnecessarily negative?

A few have told me that I can be a little pushy when it comes to promoting projects I am involved with. I have been called a shameless promotion whore. I have wondered if that is a good or a bad thing. When I offer to trade profile pimps on Plurk to increase my friend count I am told that I am being tacky. Why? Isn’t it all about the social? Isn’t it all about the contacts? Now some say that it is more about quality than quantity. Well that is all fine and good, but how do you know they are quality until you give them a chance to interact with you? So I just add everyone and make my decision from there. Now I may not ever get the friend count of people like Robert Scoble, Leo Laporte, or even A Computer Pro, but the more people I get following me, the better chance I have of getting the reaction I want. What is it that I want? Well that depends on the post. Sometimes I might ask a tech question. So then I get the tech savvy contacts replying.  Next I might ask how many people are fans of Big Bang Theory and a different group of people reply. Then maybe I make a post asking people to not forget to up vote stories on HAH and the hard rock and metal fans respond. I have several sides to myself and so I have a ton of online friends to accommodate that. Ok, sure I will end up with a majority of those people never respond at all. However, I might make a new friend that I would not have made if I was more reserved. So is it bad to be a self promotion whore?  I don’t think so!

Now there is a bad side to it all. Because so many perceive it as being a negative thing, I have a hard time getting people to respond sometimes. So what is the solution? Don’t promote and watch my websites not grow or promote and be called a shameless promotion whore. I think I will pick self promotion. Why do I care so much? Because I am currently slowly killing myself with a job I hate. I need a tech job and if that tech job can be heading up a website I am passionate about that’s even better! Many of the people that slam me for being a shameless self promotion whore are either stay at home housewives, college people that don’t have to work, or people that have jobs that keep them at a computer all day. Nothing wrong with any of those, but they have more time to put into this whole social networking and social media thing. I get in trouble at work if I get caught on the computer. So I have to work harder at the self promotion thing to get anything out of it at all. Hence the reason why I get so pissy when certain people do things that make people question my motives for posting promotional messages on Twitter, Plurk, or any other networking site.

So before you look down your nose at any self promotion whore, ask if there might be some very honest and legit reason behind it. Ask if you are just kicking someone down who is just trying to get ahead.

So this is something I have recently noticed is starting to happen way more often on the internet. Remember when grandpa told you that there was a time and place for everything, but this is not that time? Well this should go for the internet as well. There is one specific internet friend of mine that can’t seem to grasp this at all. I don’t want to point this person out because I don’t want them to feel bad. I just want them to stop doing it. So maybe they will read this, think about it, and stop doing it, without ever knowing this rant was inspired by them.

So imagine you are making a post about a local daycare burning down and trying to help one of the families victimized by this tragic event. Would it be right to correct the spelling or grammar in a reply or comment? Now of course this is a drastic example, but the point is the same.

What if I want to know how many people love a tv show I recently discovered, but I don’t want to bait everyone by asking the question directly. So instead of saying “How many fans of Big Bang Theory are there?” I ask “List your top five tv shows” and see how many answer with Big Bang Theory. It would still be bad form to correct the spelling or grammar in a reply or comment. It would also be rude to accuse the person of asking the question for the sake of getting a ton of replies. You do not know why the question was asked and you just derailed the conversation. It’s called a hijack and it is very rude. If you really feel the person is doing something immoral, contact them one on one instead of posting anything off topic.

Now I am not saying you can’t debate, disagree, or discuss if the person posts something like “I am going to go buy some tomatoes from this guy across the street that just happens to be a child molester.” Or “I love Wal-Mart. They are so great for a community.” Or even “Damn that McDonald’s sure is healthy to eat everyday!”  If you post something on an internet forum, blog, or chat room, you damn well better expect some discussion. If this offends you, then you are a stupid twat and just need to be bitch slapped. Just stay on topic and respect the person who started the thread.

The whole point of this post is to stay on topic. If you have something that you feel you need to say to the person who started a thread, do it outside of that post. Don’t hijack the thread. It’s rude.