Tech consultant for Olympia, Lacey, And Tumwater

Why are bands still so anal about taking concert photos?

I remember back in the 90′s when I first started going to shows and trying to take photos I understood that you had to have a special pass to take photos. There were many reasons, but one of them was so they could stop people from using flash and blinding the band. They also knew that these photos could be sold. Of course there was also quality control.

Then ten years later cameras started getting smaller and smaller. This was also when the first mobile phones came out with the ability to take photos. I remember clearly talking with a friend about how there was no way the annoying photo pass rules could stay around much longer when every single person at a concert will have a camera in their pocket. So how in the hell are there still such strict rules?

Most concert venues will not let you in with a pro level camera without a photo pass. So then only horrid low quality photos taken with crap mobile phone cameras are allowed. So much for your quality control. Same goes for many top level artists. Back almost half a decade ago Ozzfest was a full scale touring event that went coast to coast. Now it is a shell of it’s former self, but I’m sure the rules are the same. If you have a photo pass you can take photos of every artist on the tour except Ozzy. So the only photos of Ozzy are done with mobile phone cameras. I had a staff member for my site RockMyMonkey who fought to the front of the stage to get me photos of Ozzy. This girl did a great job, but I was asked not to use the photos. It was hinted that if I posted any photos of Ozzy that my site would never be granted photo passes again. So a great majority of the photos you see of Ozzy are low quality stuff that makes him look like crap. Does Sharron not want him to look good? If she let people with photo passes take photos it would help a ton with quality control. So if you want your artist to look like crap, make it hard for serious photographers.

Then there are dinosaur artists that just don’t get it at all. These are the bands who can barely pack a club and don’t tour the U.S. much because so few are paying attention any more. They could use some good press! They will get extra security to hunt down anyone that even looks like they are going to take a photo of the band with even a mobile phone camera. They also threaten and bully photographers to insane levels! Do they wonder why they have no draw?

So for the sake of quality control can we please set the cameras free? Otherwise only the lowest quality photos will be posted of your artists. Press agents, managers, performing artists, and record labels, you are only hurting your artists. It’s time to wake up and see that the horses have already left the barn. There is a local venue run by a large casino that wouldn’t even let me take photos when I had a media pass! In fact The Emerald Queen has the chairs so close to the stage that a photographer couldn’t take photos without getting in some fans way. The view must suck for those fans either way, so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad? The point is that even when the artist hired a press agent to make sure I was allowed to take photos, the venue security ignored the media pass!

Then make sure that only people with pro level cameras are allowed in the photo pit. It’s getting crowded in there. Too many people make it hard for the serious photographers to get a shot that makes the bands look good.

Ok, so as a follow up to my “Top Ten Worst band names Ever!” post, here is my top 10 tips to a good band name. I figured it was only fair since there might be a few of you second guessing calling yourselves “I went To The Store To Buy A Grape For Lunch”. Please notice that I am calling these tips and not rules. Why? Because rules are made to be broken. Tips are something to consider. So sure there will be exceptions. I know there are great bands that defy these tips. That is why they are just tips. Not rules. For the most part however, they hold true and should be strongly considered.

1. Keep it short.
Although a one word band name will most likely end up with you in court with ten million other unimaginative losers who thought of the same band name, you don’t want anything too long. Two words is a little more safe, but three words is the limit! Anymore than three words and your band name is very likely a inside joke that will get old very fast and most won’t even get. This will cause most people to just dismiss your band before they even hear the first note. You say the band isn’t serious anyways? Most of the greatest bands around were started off as just something to pass the time. So make sure the band name isn’t something you will think of as a curse when things shockingly get serious.

2. Can You Chant It?
Try chanting the name Slayer. Pretty easy eh? Now try chanting any of the bands from my worst band names list. Sucks, don’t it? Even if you are playing to 100 friends at the local tavern, you will want a name that will remain fun to chant for years to come.

3. Is it taken already?
Check every source you can. Check Amazon to make sure there isn’t a cd from a band with that name. Then check Wikipedia. Then check MySpace music section. If you are a Metal band check Metal-Archives. They have a database of Metal bands that is so big it is ridiculous. Check Cd Baby too. Then check to see if you can get the dot com domain. If you can’t get the dot com website don’t bother. Once you check all of those, grab those spaces as soon as you can before someone else does!

4. What Does It Say About The Band?
I hate to reference Slayer so often, but what does that name say about the band? They are going to slay! You know right off the bat they they are not some wimpy acoustic folk band. There was a local band around the Seattle area in the 90′s called Forced Entry. What does that say about the band? What does Trans-Siberian Orchestra say about that band? With that you know it is going to be some epic music with some really well thought out arrangements. You know that there is going to be some really great orchestral instrumentation. Pick a name that sends the right message for the band.

5. Make sure it doesn’t sound like that other band
So if you have a band name that confuses people into thinking you are another band, you will get some pretty ticked off people showing up at your concerts. Imagine if a band was called something like “Epic Nirvana”? Or how about “Anthrax Exodus”? That last name might be good for a Thrash Metal tribute band, but otherwise it would suck the taint of a dead pigeon (if a pigeon has a taint)!

6. Don’t use any brand names
It might be funny to name yourselves “Microsoft Blue Screen” for awhile, but the joke will get old when the lawyers come knocking at your door.

7. Enough with the name dropping!
I have seen a trend where bands will use a famous actress or actor in their band name. Stop it! It makes it hard for your fans and friends to find you on the internet because all they will find is that actress. It also might land you in court. Plus, joke names get old really quick.

8. No swear words
Notice how many of these rules could be reduced down to a rule of “No joke names”? They get old real quick and create more problems than they are worth. You will have a hard time putting up flyers, coming up in search engines, getting on even the local band radio shows, or even sometimes getting shows.

9. Think about search engines
In this day and age you need to think about search engines. Do you have at least one word that will help your band own that “phrase” in search? I have to say that I thought the band name Arkaea was stupid at first. Then I started putting it into search engines to research for an interview with the band. They always came up first because it isn’t a real word. They made the word up so they wouldn’t have to compete with anyone in any way. Smart guys I have to say.

10. Can fans spell it?
Yes, I know I just gave the band Arkaea points for coming up with a name that gets great Google juice, but I have to look up Fear Factory every time to remember how to spell the damn thing! Your band won’t have that reference, so make sure people can spell it!

Now I know that if you try to think of a band name that fits all these tips you will drive yourself crazy. That’s ok. A little insanity has done Ozzy well, right? Seriously, if you have the imagination to write great songs this should not be a problem. I remember a few years ago people started complaining that all the good website domain names were taken. Since then my wife and myself have grabbed RockMyMonkey.com, HeavyAsHell.com, QueenOfCheese.com and many others. If you have the imagination it will happen. If you can’t pull off a good name, you don’t have what it takes to write great music anyways. This is the first test. Will you pass?

A band name is a tricky thing I know. First off you need something that hasn’t been taken yet. The best one word band names were taken a couple decades ago. Slayer, Bitch, Overkill, Motorhead, and many more. A band with imagination however can still come up with something cool. Look at Goatwhore! That has to be one of the best band names in history and they have only been around since 1997!

So what makes a great band name? Look for another top ten list coming very soon to this blog! Until then here are the Top Ten Worst Band Names EVER! In case you think I made any of these horrid names up, I have linked to the websites of each and every one of them. Enjoy?

1. Iwrestledabearonce
Ok, I have no issue with the gay connection. Rob Halford is gay and one of the coolest people I have ever had the pleasure to interview. But that is more like a sentence than a band name. Try and chant their name for a few seconds and then try and chant Slayer and see which one roles off the tongue better.

2. Scary Kids Scaring Kids
Why not just be Scary Kids? This name is just plain retarded. It shows zero imagination and that is something a band might need people to believe they actually have.

3. Horse the Band
Ok, so the band name Horse was already taken? Why not something like “Horse Rider” or Horse Trainer” or “Horse Lover”? Now that last one I might be able to believe.

4. I Set My Friends On Fire
Really? Now this could be used as a cd title and no one would have said anything. Sure it’s about as stupid as it gets but it sounds like a cd title. Not a band name.

5. Attack Attack!
Ok, so if a band name you want has already been taken, just repeat it until you can claim it as yours? If this band was talented at all they could have come up with a better name.

6. The Devil Wears Prada
Now I interviewed this band a few weeks ago and even they regret the name. While many may get the message of anti-materialism, most will just think they named themselves after a stupid chick flick.

7. The Number Twelve Looks Like You
I understand that this is a name taken from the title of an episode of the The Twilight Zone. But it is still lame as hell. This is another one that might pass off as a really weak cd title. As a band name it just smells like yesterdays diapers.

8. Circle Takes the Square
Seriously? They named themselves after a cliche from a game show my grandma used to watch? A band name should make a statement and this band obviously wants you to know they both suck and blow.

9. See You Next Tuesday
Yes I know that this is a reference to C U Next Tuesday. Which spells out the word you never call a female unless you really want to piss her off. Most of the bands on this list have a band name that would make a worthless cd title, this band name would have made a great cd title. It’s just a bad band name.

10. Starring Janet Leigh
Have we run out of ideas this bad? Really? Do I even have to say why this band name screams a lack of the same imagination that is required to make good music?

So there are several podcasts I listen to religiously. I think I should start blogging about the best ones and tell you people why I care about these shows. Many of the readers of this blog will have no clue who @jason is or why he is so damn important. Well, he has kicked off tons of tech companies and made more money than most of us will ever see. He is addicted to starting new companies and kicking maximum ass. He is also just as addicted to helping others gain the level of success that he has. He is never one to hold back information, tips, and tricks to us dreamers. Unlike 99% of the people who like to spew advice, he actually knows what he is talking about! I have learned a ton from listening to his 2 hour weekly (sometimes twice a week) podcast This Week In Start Ups. If you see me use the hashtag #twist on Twitter, that is what I am talking about.

Grain Of Salt
He is more about tech companies that have tech product, so not everything will apply to you bands and music industry types that read this blog. However, a ton of it does! It is about doing business on the internet. His advice centers around helping people create the next Google, YouTube, or Facebook type company. So doing the Hard Rock and Metal websites I end up releasing don’t fit everything he says. But because it is about doing business on the internet a ton of it can be used. In fact most of it should be heard by anyone trying to run any business on the internet. He tells people they have to move to Silicon Valley. Well, that is one of the rare things I don’t think fit me. My “start up” is more of a music site than a tech site. Silicon Valley can’t give two shits about Hard Rock and Metal. Honestly there is probably only a few other things that he says (on a regular basis) that I dismiss.

Cut The B.S.
There are several that prefer to dismiss him as an arrogant ass, but I think they do this out of insecurity. Jason is a man who will make you feel a little insecure if you do not have your shit together. If you have not done your research he will call you on it! He pulls no punches and some misconstrue that as arrogance. But think about this. If there is someone who knows a ton about business and is willing to guide you, how would you want them to act? Would you want them to spare your feelings? Would you really want kid gloves? Not if you want to succeed! He is brash, harsh, and sometimes over confident about things. In the end though, you know where he stands. People talk all the time about how they want to cut through the bullshit, but when someone does they call them an asshole. Jason cuts through the bullshit and you know where he stands. I respect that.

So why should you all start listening?
I don’t care if you are a band, webzine, record label, music press agent, or whatever else. You run a business! He talks about business. He knows what he is talking about. If more people in the music industry listened to guys like Jason the music industry would not be having the problems they are. So please just listen to a few episodes and see what you think. His podcast feed seems to be the slowest download on the net, but it is worth it. It also seems to kind of mess up when using some podcatchers. My podcatcher keeps trying to download episodes I listened to weeks ago. But it doesn’t download a single byte. It just lists it as trying to download it. Small price to pay for such great content though. Highly recommended to anyone doing business online. As with all the podcasts I listen to, it is free. There is also a great video version that is even better if you have the time.

Important Links:

• This Week In Start Ups – The point of this entire post
• The Jason Calacanis Weblog – His personal site
• Mahalo – His current web start up company
• TechCrunch50 – Great Start Up conferance he co-hosts
• Open Angel Forum – Another tool for Start Ups he founded
• @jason – His Twitter account

The Music Industry is more staged than you think

Remember a few years ago when Nine Inch Nails And Radiohead both came up with very similar innovative ideas to get their music out? NIN made tons of money by giving the cd away and selling several limited editions. Radiohead sold their cd for “Whatever you want” through their website. Ever wonder how they both came up with two ideas that are basically giving away their music? Well, I’m not saying this is for sure the reason, but they (at least at the time) were handled by Nasty Little Man I found that to be a rather interesting coincidence. Remember not too long ago when Taylor Swift had that little incident with Kanye West? They both have the same agent. Coincidence? Maybe.

Now to be clear, I am not saying that either of these are anything other than interesting coincidences. However, they are very interesting coincidences. How much of the music industry is staged? Most of the things that the public thinks of as spontaneous events are actually totally well planned and well staged events. The bigger the artist, the more “handlers” they have. These handlers work very hard to make sure their artists get the most press. Press means cd sales. How much press did Kanye West get out of his “outlandish behavior” at that awards show? There is no such thing as bad press. Remember the fire at that Great White show a few years ago where several fans (and one band member) ended up burned to death? Right after wards the band had better sales than they had in about a decade. Now even I would be shocked if any part of that was planned, but that “bad press” made the band a ton of money. There is no such thing as bad press. So even events where it seems the artist end up with tons of egg on their face are good for them.

What is my point of this article? The bigger the artist, the more fake everything about them is. If you think for a second that the Adam Lambert kiss controversy was a spontaneous decision that he regretted, you are dumber than a rock! It was just the shock that his handlers needed. Him getting kicked off of one morning show was the greatest thing that could have happened. Think about how much more press he got because of it all. The bigger the artist, the more fake and planned out everything they do is. Is Lady Gaga a hermaphrodite? She has said so a few times. Her people have denied it and people close to her have said it is not true. However, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that even I am talking about it! If it’s shocking to the general public, and gets the artist tons of press, it was staged. The music industry is more staged than you think.

In this era of the Internet many bands are trying to do their own everything. I think this is pretty awesome and I encourage it. Sure it’s great if you can afford a few grand a week to hire some powerhouse press agent. The biggest value they have is in relationships they have with journalists all over the place. There have been times that a press agent will forget to send the email to the BCC (blind carbon copy) and expose their entire email list. I can grab that info and use it to send out my next press release. This will not do me near as much good as if I pay to have the exact same press release, sent to the exact same list of people, with everything done exactly the same way. Those contacts do not have relationships with me. So I will not get the same results as Chipster, Mazur, HerPR, HelloWendy, or any of the dozens of PR firms I work with on a regular basis. But if you can’t afford the money, have the email lists, and really need to get a message out do it yourself (DIY)!

There are a few key things to remember though. First off, the very top should have “FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE”. Yeah, I know it looks silly to do that in all caps but it is one of the many music industry standards none of us seem to have the power to stop. Put the date directly underneath that. Both of those should be in standard size text.

Second thing is to put the headline in bold and in larger text than anything else. Keep it short, sensationalistic, but honest and factual.

Third, put the body of your message. Most press releases I read blow so many proverbial flowers up the artists butt that I can’t help but dismiss the entire press release. I only read about 10% of the ones sent to me at best. So try to keep yours interesting, but full of information about your band. Most of the press releases contain zero information about the band. It drives me nuts!

Fourth thing is to put three pound signs (the tic tac toe symbol that is on the number 3 key) at the end of the information you want made public.

Lastly you can put any other information you want only press people to see. Like if you have a website to download the cd, get high rez images, or anything else. Under all of that put your name, address, phone, fax (if you have one of your own), an email address they can contact you at for further questions.

Keep your press release short, but detailed. Make it clear right away what style of music you play. In the world of Internet journalism your press release will hit the trash bin quickly if you don’t make it clear right away that the artist fits their format. We don’t want to tread through a ton of weak adjectives to find out the band plays polka. Don’t just describe the sound! That makes us think you are trying to hide something…like they play polka. Don’t tell the band’s entire life story, but cram in the important facts so they fly rapid fire when the press release is being vetted. Add links to video, graphics, and whatever else that the press can use to “pretty” up the posting.

Good luck. You’re going to need it.

Yes, I have something brewing for March of 2010. It’s a campaign launch for a start up that has been in public beta for awhile now. Well, we are ready to take this thing seriously now and will be launching a national contest & viral marketing campaign. I can’t give too many details here, but I am looking for someone to make a documentary of my attempt. This is the biggest thing I have ever been involved in and if works it will be a great testament of human spirit. If you have seen Anvil:The story of Anvil you will know what I am talking about. Of course if it is a total flop it can be a lesson in what not to do. Either way you win. If I win I will win big. If I fail I will fail big. I am putting everything I got into this to lengths I will not go into detail about at here.

Whoever makes this movie, it is their movie alone. The creator owns it lock stock and barrel. It is also your movie budget. I am putting everything into the campaign. I don’t have anything to put into your movie. This is why you get all the profits. You are taking all the risk. it’s only fair.

As far as control goes, I want this thing to be honest. So I will do everything in my power to give the creator as much control as possible. The only major rule are to leave anyone out of it that asks not to be part of it. This just means I am open season. make it honest. In other words you can’t be some bible thumper trying to spin this into some preachy thing. If you have motives other than making an honest film I will boot you out the door without a thought. Pretty simple eh? A good documentary will sometimes make it’s subject look bad. We are human and we make mistakes. The film should show that. It should also show the triumphs. Hope that’s clear.

You should either be from Olympia WA or at least be willing to travel and stay here for at least that month to film. A ton will happen in that month. Feel free to try and film before that, but it won’t be as predictable when I’m working on things. I will not provide room or boarding. That is up to you.

Further details can be worked out in private. In fact, even the details above can be tweaked on private discussion. Contact me if you are interested.

True Stories of a music journalist with a full bladder!

So I’m waiting for this band to call for an interview for RMM just now. They are 30 minutes late, (more normal than it should be) and I need to piss. Well I know that they are going to call the second I walk away. I have them call my Skype number so I can get a clear recording, so this is on my laptop. So I unplug everything except the headset, carry the entire set up into the bathroom, and take care of business. Of course they didn’t call, but you know they would have if I didn’t do that. So glad this wasn’t being streamed live with video like I used to do. There would have been some people laughing their ass off over how funny I looked I’m sure.

I know this is a short blog post, but it was too long for Twitter and I felt I needed to share. Funny story and all. True story too. I can’t make this stuff up.

The art of a good press agent

Now I talk a lot of smack about how music industry press agents are about as clueless about technology as it gets, but this time I am going to talk about the non-tech side. This time it’s all about attitude! For the most part women kick the living crap out of guys in this line of work. Not sure why. No, it’s not because they are these sweet little lambs. In fact most of them are rather ruthless! However, they do it without the ego many guys have about it. Let’s face it, the artists are the ones who are cool. Us journalists and the press agents we work with are not the rockstars. We are not cool, but for some reason some male press agents seem to think they are the rockstars. It’s that confusion that makes them suck.

Recently there was a press agent that was offended that I called him on the phone to square away some interviews. We had been going back and forth for days and so I went down the line and made a few phone calls to nail some things down with several press agents I deal with. This guy (who will remain nameless) got a major attitude about how no one does anything over the phone and I needed to get with the times. Funny, he was the last in a morning full of phone calls both made and received. He also still does HTML emails. Does he not know how “ten years ago” that is? Security experts the world over have been preaching against HTML emails and the danger they cause for well over a decade now. I think he is the one who needs to get with the times. The phone isn’t dead, he just seems to think he is the rockstar instead of the bands he is paid to be pushing. Because of this he gets no favors. I will only cover the bands of his I want to.

Not all male press agents are this way though. I have one I deal with that is about as down to earth as it gets. This guy will do anything and everything to get a band press. He will email me, call me, and is even a friend on Facebook (unlike the guy above), to make sure I am pushing his artists. I have told this guy that I find a band down right annoying and he replies with “Yeah, but will you do an interview anyways?” Now that’s a press agent! I have told him that bands don’t fit our format and he will send me cuts from the cd that he thinks prove that thought wrong. He never goes over the line and if I tell him there is just no way he will back off. The point is that he has zero ego about it. He always takes my calls and he always answers my emails. He is always ready to deal with something when I call. That’s called organization people. In this business, if you don’t have that you are dead! Because of this I will cover a band of his that I have zero interest in. It’s all about attitude.

So what makes a good press agent? Same thing that makes for a good music journalist. Someone who knows their place. Sometimes I have to tell myself to just shut the hell up and do my job. It’s not about me. It’s about the artists. Same goes for the press agents I deal with. They need to know that we are not the cool ones. The artists are. Ok, some press agents are cool artists too, but that’s a whole ‘nuther blog post. Funny thing is that the cool rockstar press agents are the ones with the least ego problems!

The truth is that none of these people are friends. If I no longer was a music industry person I would not exist to any of them. If they have no bands I care about, I have no reason to contact them either. Both sides have a job to do. I care about the bands and they are paid to care about the bands. Sometimes they honestly do like the bands but there is no way to know. Will I work with someone I have no respect for? Sure, but it sucks. I would rather work with someone that is easy to work with. Male or female. So the art of a good press agent is one who keeps the ego in check. Same rule applies to music journalists, so feel free to remind me of that if you think I need it.