Top Ten Cute Sayings For The Retarded
There are so many cute little sayings that people say everyday, but make no sense. In fact if you actually believe them you have to be slightly mentally handicapped.
1. Nuff Said
In almost every case what ever the short comment preceding this statement is, it leaves many questions. In other words, not enough was said. Give me some details and stop being such a lazy little bitch.
2. This Too Shall Pass
People say this about all kinds of things. Most often about things that will never pass. As the band Crowbar once said, Time Heals Nothing!
3. The Cream Always Rises
No it doesn’t! Have you heard of the show “So You Think You Can Dance?” Of course you have. It has gone on for several years and many seasons. Ever heard of the show Firefly? One of the most amazing shows ever. It lasted one season and 14 episodes. Ever heard of Justin Bieber? Annoying twat isn’t he? How about the band Supershine? Didn’t think so. Emil Krotky once said “Mediocrity is forgiven more easily than talent.” The crap always rises. Cream gets shoved to the bottom unless it’s an overpriced cup of coffee. Now shut your pie hole.
4. The Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side
I asked Bill Gates and he said you were full of crap. He has no interest in the other side. His grass is greener.
5. Mother Always Knows Best
Really? What if the persons mother is a crack head? What if she’s selling anything she can for another hit of meth? Or maybe she’s just a drunk? What about all the mothers who beat their kids? What if your mother is a mental case, is really depressing to be around, and refuses to admit she has a problem? Mother doesn’t always know best and you need to think for yourself before you wind up doing nothing with your life except playing Farmville and watching American Idol you mindless sheep.
6. That which does not destroy us makes us stronger.
Friedrich Nietzsche is the one that came up with this one. The truth is that you can also end up beaten, crippled, and a shell of your former self. If you’ve given it your all you could just end up a totally spent sorry excuse for human life. If you are trying for that one you are really reaching and it’s pathetic.
7. You can’t buy love
Well, Nelson Rodrigues once said “Money buys everything, even true love.” Another version of this saying is that “Money can’t buy happiness.” Well I can tell you first hand that being poor doesn’t buy jack either. When I go to the movies it makes me happy. When I buy a candy bar it makes me happy. Sure that happiness is fleeting, but that is besides the point. It did buy happiness and the saying is a bunch of crap.
8. Something Something
So if you say the word twice it changes the meaning? No? Oh, well in that case you’re just an idiot! Some put on their extra stupid leotards by removing a letter or two off of the end. Not sure if it is possible to be more retarded, but it just might be so.
9. Kick it
As in “I’m just going to kick it.” or “I’m just kicking it.” What is so wrong with just saying that you are going to hang out for awhile? Or just say, “I’m just going to relax for awhile.” Oh, you don’t sound like an idiot if you say it that way. Ok, I didn’t realize that was your goal. Douche!
10. That’s What I’m Talking about
In almost every case the person wasn’t talking about anything. When people say this, they are almost never talking about “THAT”. You might as well just say “Why yes I totally agree Reginald.” for as lame as it sounds.
In case you haven’t figured it out yet, trendy sayings bug the living hell out of me. Mostly because people say them for decades after they have become lame. Instead why not think for yourself and work on trying to sound intelligent? Or is that too much to ask? Maybe you need to see if they have a sale on braincells? Or it that the problem? You bought your brain from Wal-Mart on sale didn’t you? No wonder you’re so retarded. Just kill your self please. Seriously. World Won’t Miss You!