Why most Start Up Advice Is Total Bullshit

Money

Money

Most of you should know by now that I run a little start up called HeavyAsHell.com. I have been known to throw what is more than the equivalent of half a years paychecks into the site and burn through it in a month trying to get people to jump into it. Why? Partially because I am insane. Ask anyone that knows me in the real world and they will verify this. The other reason is that I really believe in the site and think that if this thing had enough resources it would explode and make some serious money back. Because of this I try everything I can to learn as much as I can about doing a start up and getting investors. Hell, even getting access to these people is pretty hard. This is why @Jason can do so well with Twist, TechCrunch50, and The Open Angel Forum. He has connections to make things happen for people like me who have zero contacts. However, there is a few problems I have with the advice people like him give to us wannabes.

Now let me be clear that @Jason is not at all the focus of this rant. In fact I would say he helps more than most. In fact, I have heard him mention things like this way less than most. I have a feeling I know the reason why. Most of the people are full of crap and he isn’t. What is this bullshit I am referring too? My biggest gripe is when I hear people say that your first round of funding should be from family and friends. Ok, sure. I could probably convince family and friends to give me $20 here and there. Hell, I might be able to drum up a few hundred if I really work at it and beg with the most pathetic puppy dog eyes. So what’s the problem? These advice givers say the amounts should be anything from $100,000 to a cool million! If I could borrow that kind of money from family and friends I wouldn’t need investors!

When I hear people give the advice to borrow $1000,000 from family and friends my first thought is what planet they are from. The answer of course is the planet of spoiled rich kids. If you can borrow that kind of money from family and friends then you were born with a golden spoon in your mouth. It reminds me of that horrid show Sweet 16 where they get these kids that just have no clue how the real world works. Hell, there is an Incubator I would love to get in with called Tech Stars, but I can’t come up with the $6,000 in time for the June 1st deadline. So I am currently looking at preparing for a year long shut down of everything I do online so I can work myself to death to save up that money. This is all so that I can get an investor to invest in HAH so I can show what this thing can really do. Borrow a hundred grand from family and friends? You people are on crack!

So if you are an investor and want to invest a hundred grand into my start up, I can promise you that I will make you a profit. I am the Rocky Balboa of entrepreneurs and I have that “south Paw” hook that will knock everyone in my way down for the count. If you are one of the people giving this bad advice to start ups, I would like to request five minutes in a boxing ring with you so I can try and knock some sense into your naive little brain. We obviously don’t live on the same planet, but I am willing to drop kick you hard enough to get you to see how this side of the galaxy lives. I will also shove that golden spoon so far up your ass that you will shit 14 karat turds for a year. Douchebag!