Archive for January, 2010

Top Ten Shorty Awards I might win

Shorty Awards

Shorty Awards

So it is time for the Shorty Awards again eh? They had to have them just a few weeks before I drop a bomb on the music industry March 1st. Right now I have absolutely nothing going on and have a bigger chance at winning something insulting.

After March I could win something really cool though. So I figure I might as well have fun with this. I doubt I will win anything. So instead I offer the top ten Shorty Awards I might have a chance at. Just for the sake of a good laugh. Enjoy and please help me win one of them.

So if you want to be a smart ass, feel free to nominate me for one of the following. I do have something I would like to win though if you take these kinds of things seriously. Not sure I take any awards seriously though. I’d rather make a joke out of it. How about you?

1. http://shortyawards.com/category/idiot

2. http://shortyawards.com/category/douchery

3. http://shortyawards.com/category/douche

4. http://shortyawards.com/category/annoying

5. http://shortyawards.com/category/ignorance

5. http://shortyawards.com/category/dork

6. http://shortyawards.com/category/asshole

7. http://shortyawards.com/category/curmudgeon

8. http://shortyawards.com/category/narcissism

9. http://shortyawards.com/category/deleteyouraccount

10. http://shortyawards.com/category/asshat

However, let me be clear that if you want to be nice you will give me a nomination for http://shortyawards.com/category/media I won’t mind. Can I beg for your nomination?

Why The Golden Globes Can Suck It!

Golden Globes Can Suck It

Golden Globes Can Suck It

So the the Hollywood Foreign Press Association has announced nominations for the 2010 Golden Globe Awards. Who the hell is that and why should you care? Well that is the Golden Globes, so no reason to care at all as far as I am concerned.

Now I could go on and on about why I think award shows like this are about as useless, lame, and shallow as it gets, but I would rather have this one told by the people who follow me.

On Twitter Follow The Reaper was as eloquent as always…
@FollowTheReaper On Twitter
Now why does this explain my own thoughts so well? It is the exact problem! Unless you have no life, you shouldn’t care what awards these bimbos and douchbags win. The speeches they give are so trite you would think they just wrote one speech half a century ago. It’s like a computer program just fills in the blanks like it was a damn Mad Libs game. I’d rather watch my cat take a crap too. Out of all the replies I got, this one wins my award!

Facebook on Golden Globes

Lisa Yury is always short and sweet. “They’re always giving awards to those who don’t even really deserve it. LaMe!” Now I don’t know who won the awards, but when I read about it Monday morning I am pretty sure I will sigh in disappointment more than I am shocked at true talent getting their just rewards.

Now I’ve known Bert Webb for a couple decades now and he has always been an over the top kind of guy. So I’m not shocked at all that he was the only one (at the time of this post) that gave me a full top ten.
1. Commercials are better than the show 2. The only thing that wins I have never seen 3. Lady Ga Ga scares me 4. Who is Bradley Cooper 5. Rich people kissing 6. I have never actually known anyone that wears Versace 7. Screw Ricky Gervaise 8. Coldplay 9.Twilight 10. Kanye West

I despise commercials, so it means something when I say I agree with number 1. The movies that truly push the envelope will never win awards, so #2 is correct as well. If you are not scared by Lady Ga Ga you have some serious issues. Me and Bert have serious issues and that bitch still scares us! Turns out Bradley Cooper was Will Tippin in the TV series Alias. I haven’t really cared since then though and to be honest he wasn’t why anyone watched that show either. Nice enough guy I’m sure, but i still don’t care. Number 5 is an interesting one. I will assume it is about those pure Hollywood kisses they do on award shows where no real contact is done but they pretend to almost kiss each cheek. Lamest Hollywood cliche ever! if you have ever done this please save the world and kill yourself now. Same thing goes for anyone who wears Versace. Number 7 is the only one on Bert’s list that I come even close to not agreeing with. From what little I have seen of Ricky Gervais, he seems ok. Not sure he deserves to host the damn thing though. 8. Coldplay 9.Twilight 10. Kanye West? If you enjoy any of these things please kill yourself. Thank you.

I almost forgot about my friends on Plurk. Which would have been a sad thing since they are a pleasantly talkative bunch. Click here to join in on this great social network!

Plurk on Golden Globes

In short, these awards shows represent everything I hate about the entertainment industry. It is the worst of the worst. The most fake jerking off the most shallow. It’s time for the “cool” kids to heap praises on each other and we little people are supposed to feel uplifted by some strange form of osmosis. Screw the Golden Globes and screw you if you fell for their crap show. You are part of the problem so suck it!

Twitter gives a hand to help the Spammers

Twitter gives a hand to help the Spammers

Twitter Fails Again

Twitter Fails Again

So it seems that the Twitter gods do not even understand their own site. This shouldn’t shock me as these are the same people who had thought it was ok for a staff member to pick “happiness” as their password. These people obviously know jack squat about security and stopping spammers.

So what have they done now? It seems that they have asked SocialToo to discontinue their “auto-unfollow” feature. This lets a person automatically un-follow anyone that unfollows them. A great trick of spammers is to set a bot to follow several thousand accounts, wait for those people to follow them back, and then un-follow those people. This makes the spammer look like they have this massive following they don’t deserve. Then those parasites can trick people into all kinds of nefarious things. This can lead to hacked accounts, stolen identities, and any number of other things. All because the spammer was made to look more legit than they should. Setting an auto-unfollow through a great service like SocialToo helps keep that problem in check.

So if SocialToo is the one that will discontinue the service why not revolt against them? Well, SocialToo is pretty much held hostage by the fact that their entire service lives within the Twitter system. If Twitter does not approve them, they die. Although Jesse is too nice of a guy to come out and say it, Twitter is pretty much forcing him at gun point to kill this great service. It is not at all his fault, his choice, or his decision really. He provides a service to Twitter users, so Twitter has all the power.

So who will join me in trying to save Auto-unfollow? On Tuesday Jan 19th at 12:00 pacific can everyone send out a message that says “Tell Twitter to save auto-unfollow because it helps stop spam! #saveautounfollow” If we can make this a trending topic more people will know about this oversight and maybe Twitter will actually think about this stupid mistake.

Avatar needed more Unobtainium

Avatar needed more Unobtainium

Avatar Movie Poster

Avatar Movie Poster

Avatar was a good movie. I want to get that out of the way right off the bat. I did enjoy it and I recommend it for others. However, there are holes in the plot that are big enough to fly a Toruk through. If you go to see this movie, go see it in Imax 3-d. First off it was made with 3-d and Imax in mind from the very start. If you see this in regular 3-d or 2-d you are missing not only the whole point of the exercise but also pretty much the only reason this movie is worth your time. This is going to really hurt DVD sales I think because this movie has nothing to offer on a home screen.

The good stuff:
Because this movie was made to push the 3-d Imax to it’s limits, it looks downright amazing! It’s not just the whole 3-d gimmick of things flying at you. Sure there were times when I almost sneezed because there where Atokirina flying too close to my nose. Yes, the 3-d imagery is beyond anything I have ever seen in my life. But the colors were another layer that has to be mentioned in this review. We are so used to CGI being as lame as a Mighty Morphin Power Rangers monster that we just assume that is always the case. It is not the case here. Despite all the buzz about this movie being about how shockingly good these graphics are, most will not believe it until they see it. So don’t believe me. Just go see it. Just see it in full Imax 3-d or you are wasting your time. My one gripe of the cgi? The Na’vi themselves could have used some better texture on their flesh. They reminded me too much of the Smurfs.

What about the storyline?
What storyline? There really was none. Ok, there is a storyline but not much of one. In fact it is the most overused storyline in the history of Hollywood. Big bad army out to destroy a forest and all the life within. One member of that army sent in as a spy falls in love with one of the indigenous people and helps saves them from the bad people. The age old story that beats you over the head with the whole eco-friendly “save the planet” message for three hours. As a liberal I am kind of offended that they go for such a tired cliche.

Speaking of a tired old cliche, Unobtainium? Really? That might work as a working title, but to use it as the final name shows a painful lack of imagination. I also would have loved to have known why the hell it is so damn important! What is it used for? One of the most important elements of the movie (no pun intended) was just brushed over like it was just a taco truck they grabbed lunch at on the way to Pandora.

Speaking of Pandora, this is another thing that could have used a bit more imagination. Sure it was a character in Greek mythology and an even more well known box, but I could deal with those references. One of the natural satellites of Saturn? Cool. 55 Pandora is an asteroid. There are several songs that use that title too. I have no problem with any of that. But with it being a novel by Anne Rice (about a vampire of the same name), a fictional planet in the Noon Universe by Soviet authors Arkady and Boris Strugatsky, a fictional planet created by Frank Herbert (first introduced in The Jesus Incident), the name of a comic strip (and its lead character) in the UK music magazine Kerrang, a comic book character from Avatar Press, Pandora Braithwaite is a character in the Adrian Mole books, Pandora Moon is a character in the British drama Skins, Pandora Pann, a comic book character owned by DC Comics, Pandora Spocks is the heroine of the children’s comic Forty Winks, the pseudonym of Samantha’s cousin Serena on the TV Show Bewitched, a character in the Guitar Hero series of video games, the main character in the anime “Because I’m the Goddess”, the sister of the god Hades in the Saint Seiya anime and manga series, an Internet music site and radio station, as well as a good list of actual physical places on planet earth! There are tons more too, but this list was overly long as it is. My point however is that they could have thought up a more original name.

Now the reason why these small bits of laziness bug me so much is that they used so much originality in so many other places. Hell, there is an entire new language that was created for the Na’vi! It would not have increased the budget to get a better storyline, a better name for the rock, and a better name for the planet. It is because of these reasons that I insist on a total boycott of the DVD, cable viewings, 2-d theater viewings, and even non Imax 3-d viewings. However, I strongly encourage 3-d Imax viewings. Go Imax or stay home.

The problem with causes on Facebook

The problem with causes on Facebook

Facebook Groups

Facebook Groups

Many already know my problems with all apps and games on Facebook. I not only STRONGLY discouraged them, but have pretty much kept a zero tolerance to them for my own account. Although I have not kept a zero tolerance to fan pages and groups, I am still pretty strict. Some may wonder why I wouldn’t join a group of fan a page of something that I totally agree with. Well, the reason is simple. My time is short and I find that the best causes have the most pathetic fan pages.

People see a group that stands for something they believe in and they just click a button and join right up. It is so easy that they put almost no thought into it. Why is that a bad thing? Well, they put so little thought into joining that joining is all they ever do. There are fan pages with thousands of members and a dead wall! I joined Facebook to network and communicate. There won’t be much communication on a fan page with a dead wall. It does better for the cause for me to just post an update stating my belief. Why is it better to NOT join the group or fan page? Well, think about that dead wall. If a cause has a dead wall it makes the cause look weak. It shows that the people that believe in that cause are lazy and will not do much more than click a link to join a Facebook group. It let’s the enemy know that the group in no threat. Where as if you just post an update stating your thoughts on the case, it just opens up communication. No dead wall to let the enemy know it is a dead cause to be dismissed.

So just because I don’t join your fan page for “Pull up your pants you look like a douche”, doesn’t mean I’m going to start walking around with my pants below my waist looking like a homeless bum. It just means I would rather not remind the enemy that people against the homeless bum look are apathetic. So no matter how serious or comical your group or fan page is, do not bother to send me an invite. I believe enough in the cause to NOT join!

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